DoNotAttempt

Thanks to the person who bought me a subscription. I do appreciate it.

My camera's focus is fucked. It has been for months. Though, I can still manually focus... Which would be fine, but the brokenness makes manual focus a lot harder, too.

And something is seriously wrong with my computer. It crashes like seven times a day, it's awful.

...but the worse my equipment gets, the more productive I seem to be. I have been hard at work with my lovely etsy shop (I've sold over 300 prints!), I have a bunch of designs I did for Bath & Body sellers on etsy, I have been photographing more and more lately, and helping my 5-year-old brother with his etsy shop. He sold his first item today!

I'm also working on an interview for a magazine, which i will announce when I can, and a tutorial for selling prints on etsy.

I hope you're all doing well.

Today is my 17th birthday. :)

I'll be in NYC from the 6th to the 16th, and I'm super excited (I'm going to be visiting the etsy HQ).

Thanks for all the favourites, watches and comments, everyone!

Chroincle 29




:thumb73876178:

in no order, unless random is an order, and in that case there would be more order here than i thought or admitted.





Oh.
I have been horrid and out of touch. Or maybe just horrid by not knowing you as well as i would like to. That sounds horridly creepy. I mean that you're wonderful people. You have been there for me. Perhaps you just left me a nice comment, or we've chatted for a few hours, or that once we were lovers... I do think you are a lot more lovely that perhaps i have ever shown.
That is all.

Goodnight.

we have no tea.

well. there is lots of tea here. but i suppose i would claim to be more refined in my preferences (picky is the word most would use, but i'm not brave enough). So. I was going to go down the street and take some from the café, but it is now one in the morning, as i write this very word, so it would be silly of me to attempt to break in simply to get some tea. sleepy time tea, to be precise. perhaps i just sacrificed all claims of refinement. oh d-dear.

besides talking an awful lot like piglet, i had to put use to the kettle that i already had on, so now i am drinking hot chocolate. the directions say to use four ounces of hot water with one packet of hot chocolate mix (exquisite mix, i dare say, that actually has bits of chocolate in it — i do hold fast to my claims of elegance, though i confess to have no reason to). four ounces of water. Mixing that little water with the amount of chocolate in the packet leaves one with a lovely cup of chocolate sludge. i do not mean to be rude towards this particular brand or directions even, i just prefer to be able to swallow my hot chocolate. So i use almost twice as much water as asked for, and then top off my rather normal sized mug with milk. i like it to be creamy, but i do admit that i prefer drinks to be thin. I don't like cow's milk, for example. too thick. unless it's rice milk. or soy milk... that's been watered down with rice milk. i am a great admirer of water.

now i believe this writing reflects rather accurately the state of delirium that has consumed my very being.

you see. i have a very soft, but very very tiny bed. And since my boyfriend visits and stays with me quite often and for days at a time, this results in us having to share this bed that isn't exactly even suited for one person. so, although we switch sides every now and then, we have to sleep pressed side to side with one another (which would be fine, except that i have extremely sensitive skin, and if he's too cold or too warm, i go completely insane). And then he's practically sleeping on the wall, and i'm hanging on the edge of the bed. ugh. i do get to a point where i believe i'm asleep, but it certainly feels like it would require less of me to stay up all night writing these damn journal entries which probably require way too much attention and patience to read. i'm not complaining about him, though. i love my petit ami.

& contrariwise to popular belief on here, i am not a good person. i try exceptionally hard to be, but i am deteriorating in nobility, bravery and benignity. perhaps i will gain the courage to explain myself. what this is all really meant to say is that i have completely lost myself. i used to love myself so much. i was such a good person. i miss myself. but this struggle with life and honesty has taken its toll. i have done nothing wrong except accept lies from others which became lies to myself which turned me into something i never wanted to be. wow. that was really negative.

there's an art show coming up. seth and his friends are putting it on. it's a three day event that i have wanted to help promote, but i must confess a terribly flaw in the plan — i cannot, for the life of me, create posters.

seth and his friends, nate and cade (whom are very nice and pretty people with the incredibly strange habit of being very polite to me), have all made posters with their art. and what have i done? absofuckinglutely nothing. i started with this, but have no idea where to go with it.

img.photobucket.com/albums/v28…

yes. feedback would be just lovely. it's called "the everything is free art festival" it goes for three days and is going to be awesome. and yes. my poster design is for a sideways poster.

and to conclude my complete insanity, i must also confess that i have been signing "no scrubs" to myself all night. why? i have no idea. i don't even agree with what it says. i would not want to end up with a guy that can't support himself, but that doesn't mean he has to dress in expensive clothing (as long as he has some clothing) or have a car... but the song is just stuck in my head. along with all the double negatives.

i have a headache. and if you read and understood all that... you probably do, too.

goodnight.